No More Wondering And Wandering.....2010

Strange, the thoughts that come to one’s mind when you are looking back at the past twelve months. I don’t do this often but this year I find myself wanting to. I always want to believe that I will make a list of five things that I will change and at the end of the year see how many of them are accomplished.
I would like to think that if I make it three things that I will accomplish all three then I thought better about the whole thing and that I should just stick to one. This makes the whole adventure even more difficult because now out of all those things in my life that I wish to make better I have to choose one because any more than that would surly lead to failure. That is the thing I want to avoid in the coming year. Failure it is something that I have unfortunately become accustomed to lately or shall I say as I got older. This brings me to my main point; getting older things that did not matter all of a sudden (not really) become urgent, but since when and why? The question leads to many other questions that I do not have answers for nor time to ponder. I must stick to the one thing that I want to change…..as I was typing it came to me….the one thing I would love to change is the way I think. Turning from failure to never giving up and to somehow when faced with difficulties reaching inside me to find that small spot where hope sits quietly waiting to be called upon. Hope the one thing I lost somewhere along the way and now find myself slowly reacquainting with it.
It was with me for so long and I leaned on it so much, in fact I used to ride it like the clouds on the wind not giving it a second thought until I started making decisions as an adult with no belief always second guessing every single decision. I used to think it was having discernment showing how grown up I was you know making adult decisions. In reality I was walking away from belief and most important hope.
"Non, je ne regrette rien"… no, I regret nothing, because all of it brought me to this point, this place in my life where I can see having lived an unfocused life. Now from this vantage point I can make an informed decision. I have a clear advantage based on the past and now I know where I do not want to be a year from today and two years from today. I know where I do want to be by the end of next year.
I will start…… with hope and belief……

Wandering And Simply Accepting….

I was driving around as I often do (it’s actually my job).
It allows me plenty of down time to wonder about many things in one day. I am beginning to think it may be detrimental to my mental health, all this time to wonder and wander.
Today got me thinking; what is wrong with the way I live and where I am in my life. How is my situation not the one I need right now at this very point in my life? Everyone is not meant to be on top there are different stages in life someone has to be the one…there has to be someone to pick up your garbage and another to wash the windows as there is some body at the bank window another at the head of the bank to run things at the top. Throughout the whole scheme of day to day life there is a place for everyone and everyone has their place. Maybe I just have to know that this is where I need to be for now. The moment that I accepted that thought all this pressure that I used to feel fell away and I was free. Just sitting here writing about it is freeing.
I no longer do I hear nor feel the clock of fate ticking any longer…..

Wandering and Facebook?

I was wondering about well I should say I was wandering through Facebook and happened upon a phrase posted by a person dear to me and it was...."Life loves to give to those who appreciate what they already have"...it started me thinking about something that I have not been in quite a while and that is Grateful. I have for so long focused on what I did not have that what I did have. I believed I came across as ungrateful. So from this moment on I will take a moment in every day to list all the good things in my present life that I am Grateful for.
1. My children in good health.
2. My back not bothering me today.
3. My mom still alive.
4. My sister and my niece and nephew.
5. My 3 aunts that are also found in good health.
6. My two female cousins.
7. The few trusted Friends.
You get the message I am more thankful for those in my life them the things in my life because these are the people that inspire me in my life.

Wandering in My Head

I wrote something earlier today and I did not want to leave with the wrong impression.
I have more dreams but the one about raising a family in a house like the one above is gone. I only hope that I will have the courage to live out the ones that I have left.......by the way this picture here is how my future is starting to look...

Wandering and a Dream.......

The picture above is the type of house I would have loved to raise my family in. As I drove by it this morning I was overtaken by a sense of loss, knowing that the time to do this had long passed and then came the lump in my throat as tears filled my eyes and rolled down my face as the wave of emotions flooded my being. I mourned the loss of a dream one that I never got to live, I guess that’s why it still hurts. The moment lasted about fifteen minutes and as I came back to myself and realized that I was not ready to own a house such as this, I did not have the wherewithal to obtain it. I was too weak of character and determination to do what it took to obtain the lifestyle that would afford me a house such as this. So now all I have is this picture and a lost dream….

Taking A Ride With...The Dark Passenger.

Taking a ride with the "dark passenger" led me down a very dark road. I did not know how bad my thoughts still were, for some reason I thought I was a bit better but I guess not.
The journey I've been on started 16 years ago when I stopped on a well lit highway and made the "dark passenger" get into the trunk and I moved on. I believed I was free of this but 16 years later here I sit and he is next to me asking me why I did I do that, why?

He said: I helped you, I fed you and you grew but somebody got to you and somehow convinced you different. Why? Was all you saw not enough proof? Did you really think all that you saw was a lie?

I had no answer...the only thing I could offer was an apology but some how that was not enough. The "dark passenger" wanted more much more.....he demanded sacrifice....what was I to do; should I just put him back in the trunk and move on or should I try and reconnect?

So many angry and disturbed thoughts came back, all that holding back trying to do the right thing and what do I have to show for it? Not much just disappointment and sadness. no hopes no dreams. All I have is a day to day existence doing what I have to do.

Trust...hmm...do I dare go down that undefined road, or do I stay on the path that offers security the one that I know the one that will not let me down. The one that is clearly marked. The proven path....or do I make my own a new and adventure filled, action pack one. This is the choice and it must be made soon...or the door will close and the choice will be gone then I must accept what is given....not what I want...choices....the "dark passenger" is waiting...

Listening To The Rain.......Wondering

Listening to the rain fall has a calming effect on me. As you all know I "wonder" a lot, it's just part of my make up like a genetic incription. Most of the time I let them float around in my head some of them are fun others are a bit sad but once in a while their is "that" one you know the one that won't give up it comes about every month then it seems to pick up steam and come around more often.......that one for me is.....
What is your persistant thought?

Wondering....About Do Over....

        Today I definitely wanted a do over..I work with a person that wants total control over as much as he can get his hands on and I can't relate. He is always trying to get me to join him in his rants or should I say complaints about the work load and the money he is paid to perform the job. I for one if not in agreement with the set up at any place of employment I simply move on, you know look and get another job then give the two week notice. I realized a while ago that there are some people you can talk to and get some sort of result or even come to a workable agreement. With this new supervisor I thought things would a bit on the reasonable side and he is a bit of a go getter and that helps move things along when it involves getting the new hardware we needed to be on the same page as the rest of the region, which is good, but the "complaints department" is definitely closed…ok with me but not with my co-worker, this is where the rub is you know the "do over".This is when I would like to go to the first day when I was introduced to "Negative Nelson" (not his name), I wish I would have not been so friendly….but I thought I would let my guard down and genuinely give this person a chance, never again will let my guard down. Will keep to myself and keep them at a distance maintain a more professional relationship; I just don't do well with people I am not a "people person" UGH! Now I must engage in that very uncomfortable talk with "Nelson". It would go something like this, Nelson I just realized that you need a nanny and I am sorry to say that I am not it, I don't want to join you in your crusades against "the company" if you are unhappy please find a way to air your grievances through the appropriate channels and please do not include me in those discussions, thank you. Basically Fuck Off! I don't want to hear your shit any more, if you are not getting what you want here please pursue your happiness and do not waste another day here in this mess!!!!I was just sharing the polite way and the true way to say what I need to say…DO OVER!I was wondering how many do over's would you like to have and should there be a limit or should you just be a split personality, One at work and your true self outside of work. It would be difficult if I had to be my true self I would probably get fired

Wondering And Reflecting.....

I look at this picture and I see what my life has been.
Little bits of lights reflecting along the water and as hard as you may it is difficult to make out the true image before you unless you are familiar with the area. I believe it's named "The Reflection Pool" at the Christian Science Mall at Pudential.
Today in a casual conversation I received another light along my reflection pool and getting more insight as to what direction I should focus in on I would like to thank that person. So now as I venture along the road of life I have another piece to that puzzle.
The path becomes clearer......what's your path looking like? Do you like the direction you are going in?

Wondering And Following...What?

I read something today that made me stop. I could'nt get it out of my head. Then an idea came to me it was more like a vision. I want to follow it and see where it leads. I sense that it is what I must do. It is not the first time that this has happened, but before in the past I gave up on it. This time I don't want to let it go I want to go after it.

Wondering....Trigger

I am looking for the trigger. I am waiting for the awakening, strange I can sit here and envision myself going home and sketching up a storm and I can also imagine myself not eating and loosing weight, getting up every morning at 4:30am and jog for thirty minutes...totally reinspired to a new life a new attitude leading to a new adventure.......soon!

Here Is Another One!

I want to travel I realized how much I like traveling especially to places that I know very little about..in the U.S.
I believe there are enough beautiful places here in America that includes North and South to keep me busy for a long time..So travel that is what I want also....

One Of The Things I Want....

So here it is one of the things I want is to live in a place like this surrounded by palm trees...there I said it and now you all know..Next!!

Getting What You Want?

"The only thing that's keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself." -T. Robbins....I read this today on "Twitter" it was one of the many updates I get daily...it struck a deep chord, because what I want is BIG and the thought of it is scary..Hah! There it is that's the story. In all reality people every where are doing it, it is not that big nor that scary...now on with the pursuit...what story are u telling yourself??

I Could Get Used To This.....

Taking this trip has awaken me to some things that I have been ignoring one of them my health. The other is the possibilities and how much there is out there for those who truly want them.
Though the circumstances for this trip were not the best the results have been wonderful, I am in a city I would have never thought I'd ever see and I have been able to enjoy a nice needed get away. Realizing California is not so bad. San Diego Is a visually beautiful city and like any other city it is working on some things as should we.....lesson learned "take that chance"..see where THAT road leads....forget the old one try a new one....

Good Morning San Diego....

I thought I was leaving tonigh but we had to extend it by one more day...I do not mind.

It Looks Like New York With Plam Trees.

Being here has me thinking about true patience.......I sat in front of this view and all that came to my mind was NYC...strange the palm tree tells me otherwise. So expecting the unexpected can be a good thing...

Love San Diego

I'm not saying that I'm gonna move here anytime soon....but this view and the weather....are making it hard.

Hope It's a Good One

I'm here and so far it look's like Dominican Republic..
Catch up with you guys later..gotta get my bags now.

Look Of Their Own

On my way to California observation: ppl from Cal look like they are from there.
They certainly have a style. I hope to get some great pics to share...this flight is full no empty seats at all.

On My Way To San Diego

I haven't flown in so long I feel strange but excited at the same time....I'll take you along..see you in San Diego.

Wondering And Driving..

As I drove around this morning I thought about a question presented to me. "It was if your life depended on it" or "this is a do or die" decision. I couldn't think my brain just went blank.....I remember saying to someone that I can't suppose anything it has to be real but it's not true because I find myself fantasizing most of the day dreaming about that "perfect life". The life where I have the job I love, the house I love and the Mercedes and the most important my "boys" my two sons. With out them none of what I dream would be worth it. I often think that if it were not for them I would just let go and save until the day came then I would go.....disappear and see where life takes me. "To be free" that is what I truly want just me and the world.

Wondering About The Tiny Squares....

I was coming out of the second level of Lord & Taylor and I was just looking...I looked so hard that the more I looked the more surreal the windows on these building seemed....what do you think?
How easy is it to be so distracted that you loose sight of what your looking at?...

Wondering and observing

I was walking around on a mission when I realized that I did not need to wander around but that I could do the same thing and be more productive. By the way...I like the use of ribbons in the division wall. I thought it was grass....looking and observing.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

Things often look one way and we become unsure of what it is that we see. A closer look starts to reveal that which was once thought to be hidden...when all that was needed was the time to step back and observe not just look.

IMG00143-20090906-1839.jpg

Testing the connect...

Wondering about strange people

Why are some people like a dog with a bone? They can’t seem to let certain things go and I don’t mean things you’ve done to them just things you’ve shared with them. For example: I was having a bad day at work and I was driving around as is my job. This person calls and asked me how my day was going his going fantastic! The weather is kind he likes sunny and hot I on the other hand do not like this weather it is uncomfortable…and I believe I have written about it in the past needless to say he notices that I seem distracted and I share that I was just sent to the Boston office to handle some business and found it to be in total chaos, that the person we left in charge there had not been following the system and was basically running things his own way and doing as he pleased. I expressed the only reason why I was upset was due to the fact that I had to solve it organize it and get it back in play, sort of get it going in the right direction, when I realized that this was my job and I was not getting paid enough to do this when all I really wanted to do was fire him and retrain someone that would keep it running smoothly and stick with the system…because it works. He always wants to do his own thing and work it to his advantage and screw everyone else so how can you work with someone like this. Who can’t follow or refuses to follow orders? In my book you send him packing “I regretfully have the unpleasant task of informing you that your weak ass services are no longer needed!!!”
I can’t all I can do is report to my superior on Monday when he returns from vacation and let the axe fall where it may but if no change comes about I will go back to my previously quiet existence and enjoy not moving up the stress filled ladder… this conversation (venting) happened on Tuesday and I have all ready moved on to my schedule and what I need to do, when the very next day this person calls me to ask “Hey did anything get resolved?” I answered; no I told you that all of this has to wait until Monday when my boss gets back from his vacation. Then he proceeds, “wow dude you must be pissed, aren’t you?” and at that very moment I realized that, that was what HE wanted he actually called to piss me off again or to get me going….I saw this and quickly said, nope I’m good, all will take care of itself I just have to relay the facts and let the chips fall where they may. That was not enough for him he kept at it pressing, prodding and poking to see what he could get….didn’t give it to him just said “took care of business did what I had to do now it’s in someone else’s hands.” Still to my amazement he kept looking but I did not give it to him and just told him that I had to go and hung up……strange how some people are living through others failures instead of their successes.

Wondering when? But Knowing "Soon" Is The Answer..

Today was a busy day but not a crazy one. I have been waiting for this new job to settle into some sort of flow. The constant go-go-go finally got me last Wednesday, I came home and just crashed, woke up the next day and it felt as though someone was beating me all night...sore all over, needless to say I called in sick wanting to conserve my energy and not let this get me. As soon I could I rushed to Whole Foods and picked up some supplements to go to war on this before it really got me but to no avail it came and I got, got. I had no choice but to let it run it's corse and it did, for three whole days. I never want to feel that again but it was not over, just as I was getting better "WHAM!" I woke up Saturday morning with a crippling pain in my lower back but to the right side. Wow I had never felt anything like it a pain so intense that just writing about it now gives me the chills. As I described to thee nurse the symptoms..she kept saying it sounded like KIDNEY STONES!!!!!! the pain was unbearable I, the pillar of strength that i am was wimping like a little girl. needless to say the doctor came by asked me the same questions the nurse just did...don't they talk to each other? I AM IN PAIN!!!....anyway, after draining me of almost all of my blood and urine...The Verdict!....Mr. Soto we've run tests on both your blood and your urine and you don't have kidney stones..WHEW!..you are suffering from a muscle spasm...What I was brought to my knees by a muscle spasm!?...Damn! that shit hurt!!! finally the nurse drugged me....mmmmm.....sweeeeet...what was that?..Oh just a 0.5cc of morphine...mmmm..gimme more wow this shit is good...no more pain. One hour and a half I was let go with 2 prescriptions one for Motrin and another for a muscle relaxant.

So for the past four days as I faced certain death I began to wonder about all the things I had not done....this seems to be a recurring theme in my writings..am I trying to say something?

Yes! I will no longer leave things that I want to do undone. Today I was so focused and determined to get it done that I had finished and did so with time to prepare for the next days work ...so tomorrow I begin ahead, something a had not been able to do until the sickness got me. I guess it was just my body's way of telling me to slow down, focus get organized then, start.

I hope that by me sharing this little experience that you will take that much needed time before your body does it for you....

LABOR OF LOVE

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit challenged. I can feel myself stretching and how unfamiliar it feels in fact it feels foreign.
I guess I am not used to putting forth so much effort into the things I do, I have always believe that most things in life take a certain amount of effort but should not be difficult but a labor of love.
I remember the first time I took part in the creation process of a wedding gown that had 16 layers of tulle for the skirt and the same amount for the top. It took a team of 3 designers I included 8 days just to achieve stage one, the perfect glow, the idea of the head designer was to give the impression of the dress floating and give an almost translucent glow. Well, after 10 to 12 hours a day spent on this one dress it was done. The next step was to arrange lace flowers as though they were exploding from the waistline and dispersed throughout the whole dress. The effect was mastered and refined with strategically placed “Swarovski” pink crystals the dress was a master piece! It made the cover of Brides magazine. In the end it took us 3 weeks to complete the entire dream the process was like a journey and the time flew and all was accomplished.
This memory got me wondering about doing what one loves and how time flies and it feels as though there are not enough hours in the day to finish “it”. I don’t ever remember complaining about anything just the urgency of creating this one dress that everything took second place even waiting for the correct shade of pink crystals felt as though it took forever! Finally, the exhilaration the energy level the hours spent all of it was worth every pain staking moment, all lead to this, “labor of love”…..
So whatever “it” is do it, you will never regret it, just that you didn’t do what it was you loved to do…..I keep waiting for my present job to feel like that……will it for you?

CHILLIN' AND WONDERING AT STARBUCKS?

Ha! chilling, something I thought I was doing and realized I wasn't. A friend once said to me when I asked for advice on a "laptop" or "desktop"? He said "get a laptop and go to Starbucks and "chill" I boldly proclaimed "I do not chill". I said this because in my mind I was already chilling.

All this time I was under the impression of something but just found out today, I was not (chilling)!

The art of relaxing is something that does not come easy. To sit and do something you thoroughly enjoy is difficult. To sit and do nothing but observe and listen, is even more challenging than I thought and oddly one of the things I like doing and realized how little of it I had been doing it and hadn't done it in so long that it came as a bit of a shock how much I truly missed it and how it was affecting me. It was disconcerting, but I did not think it was that big of a deal. So today I did it I went to the neighborhood Starbucks, ordered my usual quad-venti-iced raspberry-mocha, sat down on a nice comfortable sofa and "chilled". Wow, how good it felt sitting and observing all the costumers come in and order their regular, some were recognized by the servers and you would here them call out the drink order. Then all would find a place to sit and have quiet conversations. While i just sat there and watched and took notes on my "blackberry". Now i am in a better mood and i am ready to start filling "The Blog" with more observations. This is what i was missing.....So now i wonder....what are you missing? Is it a bit of CHILL time or something else, find out what IT is and do IT....... It might make all the difference.

RAIN AND ITS EFFECT…….

Raining its part of nature or should I say the natural process. It comes and does what it does. It seems as though it has been around forever but at least the droughts will be few and far in between this summer. I think that’s a good thing. I was wondering…..what other natural things we let affect our mood; I know not everyone is affected but many are, as I read the comments on Facebook I realize how much people give themselves over to things outside their control such as weather, this one seems to be a major one. I have learned to observe my reaction to certain things such as weather or even situations that would arise and because I would not have an answer to it I would panic and let waves of fear take me over and then I would wonder why things got so crazy and out of control. All that ended when I started taking some time to listen to some fantastic advice from a spiritual “guru”. The recommendation was to meditate, to take at least twenty minutes every day. This would not be easy at first but stick with it and learn to sit in silence and the sitting in silence would allow you to see your thoughts then you will become aware that they do not rule over you but you do not have to give in to them and therefore get caught up in the swirl of emotions which most of the time clouds our thought process and distracts us from the real issues that we need to be facing. I have learned that once you decide to solve a dilemma the answers are there and if you can differentiate between emotion and logic and are not caught up in the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions the answer is clear. Logic should be the basis for our decision making not emotions.
So the next time something happens that is out of your control understand it is, accept that it is….then you will know if it requires you attention or not….but the weather…. they did make umbrellas and raincoats to deal with that......Be HAPPY.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia:
a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days.
I heard someone use this word today and how this weather made him remember when he was a child and the rainy days were spent indoors with mom and his two other siblings and they would help their mother bake something fun like chocolate chip cookies and later on fruit filled pies and eventually cake and pastries. It did not seem to matter what it was, he remembered it being one of the few times they could all work together and not fight or argue. He being the oldest ended up owning a pizza shop in JP. Ma. Which he has since sold, his sister the middle child a restaurant in Argentina their home and the youngest owns a popular bakery in Revere, Ma. All started with something they shared as a family on a rainy day. The person tells me that they all; children and grandchildren fly back to Argentina at Christmas time and spend the holidays cooking together as they did when they were kids and all this they pass on to the next generation. Nostalgia what does it mean in your life……. Start something today or the next time it rains and pass it on to someone you love..

Conscience.....

Conscience….I often wondered about it until I was awoken to mine. In that moment I was filled with clarity and since that moment I have had many lapses and many small “a ha” moments…where there is a silent confirmation of some that I should have known but only then was I able to understand. At first when it started happening I was not aware but there came a day when I was told that if I did not do what the doctor recommended I would die…..and up until that moment death was just a word to me. All I believed was not enough. I realized I lacked understanding in a very tangible and substantive way. At the time my only concern was to become rich and important and to some degree famous. The focus of my life was on the physical and the material not once did I ever truly consider anything else. The unseen materialized and all made sense. The switch was flicked on and has up until now not been shut off, the light may dim but it never goes out. From that day on I looked at everything differently, people, animals and plants all had a purpose a distinct function a task to contribute day by day no matter how insignificant it may seem it was all part of a bigger picture an intricate web that was all connected to this great energy that was flowing through all of existence and even if I did not understand I learned that in time I would and any question that I asked I received an answer in due time……I wonder how many people never wake up to their conscience……… Are you awake yet?

Missing Out......

Today started out with fear and trepidation I had a mental dilemma and it was slowly overpowering me. It starts with a small “I’m not feeling good” then a general avoidance of things that need to be done they are not urgent so they can be put off and then the overwhelming desire to sleep becomes prominent; because if I fall asleep and the time passes I can avoid the whole situation and then it is prolonged for another day. The other way I handle it is put it in someone else’s hands and then if it does not happen well it’s that persons fault, you know the blame game. When it really is your life your choices and ultimately your destiny so why put it in someone else’s hands. Own it, the journey is yours embrace it and never let go……..Don’t miss out on what life has for you.

So, I was wondering what are you putting off or avoiding?

By the way I did not give in I took charge and it became a very good day and I left the experience full of hope and optimism…..and it’s all looking a bit brighter…

"And I'm Feeling Good"...

"Birds in the sky you know how I feel...Sun in the sky you know how I feel....Breeze drifting on by you know how I feel...." These are part of the lyrics from a song by Nina Simone.

She is singing about feeling good. So it got me wondering....what would it take to make you feel good? I ask you to find the song and listen to it. As you listen to the words find out what it is that makes you feel good and add at least ONE thing to your life. I found a had many things that made me feel good, at one time in my life. As I listened to the words and let them flow around in my mind three things came to me. The first was music and i have been adding that back in my life since January. The next one is kind of difficult but I got the answer by asking some one "what they saw me doing?"which lead to the reason why I was stuck for so long.

I was afraid to FAIL, I love this person for being the first person to point me in the right direction...."know the truth and it will set you free"....So now I need to accept failure as part of the journey; so I can add that second thing that makes me feel good.

What will it take to make you feel good.....

What If ?

As I was driving around today I got caught up with..the dreaded " What-If"; UGH!

You know that place where your mind takes you and you don't want to go because you've been there too many times and all it does is depress you. Believe me I tried but eventually I gave in and started wondering....If I had taken that plane to Italy twenty five years ago and followed my dreams to work for a small town tailor, learn the In's and outs of suit making and developed my craft from the ground up. where would I be now and what kind of life would I live?

So here I am and now I would like to ask you, if you had the chance now, today to do exactly what you wanted. To pick up where you left off, would you? If not then why?

Beautiful Day....In Common.

As I ran some errands today, I took a break on the steps of The Public Library and sat back to observe people strolling by and entertained myself as I often do by making up imaginary conversations as they walk by, I started wondering as a "family-pak" dad, mom and the kids trying to find their way with a street map of Boston also the "business-dad" on his lunch break(suit no tie) teaching his son how to throw a yo-yo, the "over-stylized" gays decieding where to have lunch, all meeting up in front of this place and the only thing they had in common was, like me enjoying a beautiful day with people they wanted to be with and then a thought entered my mind that I could enjoy summer but on one condition....that i would have to be independantly wealthy or a bum....taking donations give generously and often...

Not Ready For The Heat

Ugh! I am so not ready for this extreme heat, especially when i have no A.C.

I was trying to nap before I went in to work; but man this HEAT not even with the fan at full tilt.

Wondering...if I had all day to do as I pleased would I mind the heat as much?

If I could lounge right on this balcony with a few friends and an ice cold pitcher of Sangria...mmm

would it be as bad, I bet not..

"Quick Notes"

Hey! heard something odd the other day

Guy#1-"remember when we used to play baseball and there was always a girl that would play and she was pretty good what did we call girls that played sports"?

Guy#2-humm oh! "tom girls", why?

Guy#1-"what did we call they boys who didn't play sports"?

Guy#2-starts to chuckle...."sissies"

they both start to laugh out loud....

ALL this because some eight year old kid ask to wear a white dress for his communion..

I was just wondering....what would you do? Oh by the way; his parents found a Church that would allow it.

Wondering and Driving....

As I drove around today, I started to wonder, wonder if something bigger than us really existed.
The moment I asked that question in my mind I received the answer and it was yes. If this is true then I would like to be on the same frequency that "it" is on, because right now I feel as though I have upset "it" and am on the wrong side of "it".
Please, help me get back on the right side because i don't know what i did and how to get back in it's good graces.

I Was Wondering....

I was wondering something I find myself doing that a lot lately. The question is; do I love Boston or am i just suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. I wonder, can that work with a city? I came from NYC about thirty years ago and spent the first 15 years trying to leave and get back to New York and slowly but surely Boston's quaintness started to appeal to me and little by little I started to refer to it as "home".

I guess it's love because every time I go to any other state I always wanna get back, to the place I now call "home".

I'm Back?

I am back...like any one really cared, I'm back and i will post more. i thought I'd give this another try....so hang in there from Boston.