Not So Sure...

This past week has brought me to a place on the road of life where I don't like what I see. Maybe it's a moment of doubt or maybe I'm being offered an option. You know the option to change direction because the more I walk in "that" direction the emptier I feel, the "life" that I have wanted for so long is turning out not to be what I want but when I go towards this new direction there seems to be a more positive tone to my internal peace though I reap no monetary reward the fruits are inspiring and bring a level of happiness to my soul that is unexplainable.
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Wishing...

I have been hearing a lot of people complain about the weather. I used to join in and complain about most anything and everything even when things would go my way. I realized it was just a habit because if you really didn't want it you would find a way to make it better. Move to a place where it's not as cold nor as snowy, just start making changes to bring closer to what you want.
I personally don't mind the winter cold and the snow. I just want to be better prepared. In general I stopped complaining and things seem to get better I catch myself once in a while slipping into complaint mode. I stop and realize that right now this is where I want and need to be....are you where you want to be? Accept where you are and if you want to move on then do so but stop complaining and your life will get better..
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Content..Happy..Joy

Three similar words slightly different meanings...

Content: [noun] the state of being contented with your situation in life...

Happy: [adjective] delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing...

Joy: [noun] the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires

Which one best describes your situation and how to achieve any one of these seems to be the pursuit of many. I have learned that sometimes they don't come from the things, places nor people, one would think of but from sources not yet sought out. People you haven't met and places you've yet to discover and things you don't have. For me it's more of a sate of mind attached to just being present and making the best of any situation some times just sitting in silence may be enough... This grabbing for and wanting only brings discontent, unhappy and joyless outcomes. This I why I like the unexpected, the mystery of life which is really not that mysterious but satisfying none the less. Everything in it's season and a season for everything. Nature "moves" at it's own pace yet everything gets accomplished...as long as you're moving all is good.
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I See Patterns...

I do not consider myself a psychic nor a deep thinker. I simply observe patterns in everyday life and in people I seem to have the ability to see outside my self and occasionally I get a glimpse into "me". I can be the worlds most skilled heart surgeon but I can not operate on my own heart, I can probably diagnose and suggest the best technique but I can not actually perform the operation on me, I must trust my heart in the hands of another. This is the rub this is when I realize so much about me I did not want to know. The level of exposure and vulnerability is frightening. The real fear is the unknown that in reality you don't know the outcome and may never if the chance is not taken...I see a pattern of fear...
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Learning To Be Me..

I have gone back to school to learn how to be me. I used to know but now I look and see and I do not recognize the person I see. I use the term "school" because it something new to me like the first day of Kindergarten. Everything is bright and shiny and you have a bit of nerves but I remember I couldn't wait...until I met that first negative "cloud" in my day and didn't know how to handle the darkness...later in life you learn how to maneuver around, over and away from these people. These people are the reason I am glad to be an adult with some level of awareness because now I know how to deal with the "negative ones".....you just shine brighter...
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Breaking The Cycle...

How do you not repeat the past year? When most circumstances are still the same. The situations that were there are still here, they seemed to follow you into this year. This requires to take action but action with out making the same mistakes as you did last year. For me it starts with finally making a plan, yes a plan something that I seemed to be allergic to for a major part of my life and now finding the need to actually start because now I know the two things I want to change take a plan and an execution of the plan.....so here goes! ! ! To plan and execution!
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Looking At Today..

Looking at today I can not see tomorrow..not true, you can.
If you continue to do the same thing everyday it's referred to as habit, ritual...it can serve a purpose when it's part of a goal but when it over takes your life to the point where you can't function with out it that's when it becomes detrimental. I've seen it happen. Slowly but surely this person did too, he saw how it held him captive couldn't do what he wanted to do because it would throw his routine off. Then it happened he did something out of the ordinary he broke with his routine, habit; in this case ritual and ever since that event this person has making small but very significant changes...for me, I have to incorporate discipline set up a routine to keep me focused and on track, which by the way I loose all the time..."Track of time". So today I must start to incorporate that routine establish some good habits and see how that goes for about the next three months...and hopefully I will stop wasting time...
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Is It Enough...?

The thoughts that creep in when one least expects them. The ones that you find yourself susceptible to the ones that pull at the strings of your heart and they know the right song to play and you sing along...these are the ones that take the biggest chunk out of your day and hopefully only that and no longer two or three or one whole week. Unfortunately one week turned into two then almost a year and you realize the fog you're in and someone woke you up and it's been three years!! Yeah, that was me three years ago but no more..I have seen what can be done even if you only half invested and imagine if you were really focused and purposeful and intent on that task how much more can get accomplished.

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Yes Finally!

Took me some time to get the mobile blogging going again, after missing 3 postings I knew something was wrong. I can't get those nuggets of gold back but I will go forward from here in good faith..
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Change...Can You..?

Change..people toss the word around so flippantly as though you can just at the blink of an eye change but in reality the wish to change must be born as a thought then it becomes desire and only then the steps to make it real and therein lies the challenge. Then the only question is will you face "the challenges" that come with change...
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New Years Day..

Loved walking around Boston the weather was perfect for doing one of the things I love the most..and enjoyed the great views...
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