I Can Still See..

Yes, today is a cloudy rainy day in Boston but that won't get to me because there are so many things that I need to do and they are not outdoors.
I must sketch there are many ideas that if are not put on paper will disappear. When the day began I was letting the weather dictate my mood but that soon dissipated when I got to the office and met up with "the grouch", Mr. Negative energy x10..I don't exaggerate, you know those people that the moment you are around them the energy level goes way down and all that are around become (for no apparent reason) tired, irritated and some even upset. The second I saw him my energy level rose and I had the extra energy I needed to do what I needed to do and more. I am beginning to believe all was due to the attitude adjustment that I resolved the second I saw him even before he saw me. I now consider that a small personal victory, he in turn even commented on how energised I seemed and he began nodding off. He became so frustrated that he shutdown and had to leave early. I just didn't give in to it his negative comments about the day the computer the boss not being there seemed irritated about everything as for me? I just listened and offer no opinion, so now a can sit here and enjoy the rest of my work day and look forward to a nice evening at home.
Learned a very valuable lesson today and that is, not to give in to negative thoughts or negative people even though we can't see because of things being in the way, if you look closer you can still see your way clear....and on to bigger things...!
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Thinking And The Next Step…

“Clarity: Having a clear picture of the outcomes you desire today.” Yeah just read this and I can’t seem to do it. I become distracted by thinking, yes; thinking is a form of distraction for me. I try to focus but my thoughts keep interrupting me dragging me far away until I start dreaming of things that I need to do and in the end I don’t do what I set out to do. So I started to question if I really wanted to do it in the first place or was I seeking a purposeful distraction in order to convince myself that I had something to do. The idea became known as “the jacket” because if I can make the jacket then I can start a project and actually finish which in turn would demonstrate that I can focus and accomplish a task and hopefully become a bit more inspired to take on the next piece which would be “the dress” or more aptly put “the evening gown” all this thought process to do something I used to do without much preparation but again I was in the industry and all the tools I needed were at hand. Now after being away for fifteen years I am slow finding my way back and realizing that I should have never given all those tools away and now I’m frantically searching for. Thank you internet, now I have to gather the money and buy these essential goods because I live in Boston and the only place in Boston that carried these items shut down about three weeks ago (ah no heads up) just gone. So I believe that this Friday as it is pay day and if no (financial) emergency rears its ugly head I will go ahead and place my much needed order and wait. The one thing I hate to do is getting all fired up for a party and then not being able to go or worse it turns out to be a drag. I sit here thinking and the thoughts turn to sketching come to think about it I should just sketch until my tools are delivered…productive thinking….not giving in to the distractions only if they are productive and help me get closer to my goal…. The completion of ”the jacket”….hey! have a great day ‘cause now I’m gonna sketch…what are you thinking about doing?

Beautiful Light

As I sit here locked in at home listening to the rain and it will rain all day tomorrow but I am not a weatherman and the weather report is not what I write about. I was enjoying some down time and I got on the internet and was looking at some design and architect home sites. I came upon a house that really made me want it, now mind you I drive around Boston suburbs and see beautiful homes for days on end....but this one on the website was amazing, absolutely fantastic. I even put it on Facebook and titled it "Future Home".
I chose this picture because it captured the feeling I got when I saw this house. I kept looking at the house and the more I kept looking at the house the more details about the life and how I would live in it also the car I would drive into the garage, well everything and I came back from my vision and I heard the rain and it was the best sound ever...because I kept seeing the beautiful light in the picture....I'm not being delusional but I am trying to keep a reasonable view of my future and how what I do today will help me on my way there..... Are you on your way?
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Becoming Clear..

How to move on when you've played and lost? The easy answer is to get back in the game. Even when these words were spoken to another person, I still had a problem with them. My response "oh that's easy for you to say"

I'm not a kid that is riding his bike and falls off and if there is an audience he makes a seen but if that child is alone....most just dust themselves off and get back on and eventually learn how to ride that bike.

There is a difference because now I am an adult and there is something that happens in the journey from a child to an adult and that is "life" the "teacher" and most of us fail because instead of falling and getting back on we become aware and focused on a thing called "pain" (emotional and physical) and this is something I personally do not want to revisit and trying to avoid it seems to give it more power and the less new things you want to try until one becomes a coward and that only becomes evident when a friend from the past "all of a sudden" appears you know "oh guess who I ran into" and you get to chatting and THAT horrible question comes out of their lips "and what do you do for a living" and this after they spent the first half of the meet making you feel as if you have wasted the last twenty years of your life. Rewind go back and listen to what they were saying and before you give in to feeling like a total waste of space, all he really said was "I fell, dusted myself off and got back on again" ...... They didn't give up that's all and I'm sure there's more but at the core and the fact that they never said die. If the first way didn't work try it another way but the point was to "get back in".

So last year in my head a thought started to formulate and it was based on a few comments certain people made that got me thinking and inspired so since then I have been looking for that "bike"
After much thought I realized "why not start with what I know I can do". I started with very small steps and now am beginning to believe and even...hope and taking steps in that new direction....so here I am just hours from my first project in 15yrs. I'm going to get back on.....

Life is going to teach...are you willing to learn?
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