Breathe....

I was watching a motivational video yesterday. And the speaker said "most of you say you want to succeed but what are we willing to do?"
Guy: I want to be on your level!
Guru: then meet me at the beach at 4am.
Guy: I don't want to learn how to swim, I wanna make money!
Guru: meet me at the beach at 4am.
Guy: ugh! Ok...next day he was there at 4am dressed to impress.
Guru: you want to be successful? Get in the water.
Guy: (indignant) I don't want no swimming lesson I wanna be successful!
Guru: get in the water.
Guy: starts to get in (hesitates) then gets in and when the water is up to his chin..the guru grabs his head and holds him under water..guy fighting..then guru pulls him out and asks.
Guru: when you were down there what did you want?
Guy: to breathe...
Guru: when you want success as bad as you wanted to breathe "then" you'll be successful...

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So Close...

Wow, I was just going through my check list of the tools I need to get the designing started and all I need is actually two more things but out of the two the most important is the dotted pattern paper. I was watching "Project Runway" and I keep seeing the contestants using it and it makes me just wanna run to Parsons and take one of those rolls and smuggle it back to Boston and get to working...ha, ha, ha!!! Crazy things that creep in to ones head when you are so close you can taste it...I guess getting out and about today was just what I needed to get the juices or should I say the hunger flowing again....I gonna breathe now...woos ah!!!


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A New View....

I will share some...this is one of the people I read to gain a better view on life and how to look at things in your world....enjoy...
When you get the results you're after, that's great. When the results fall short of your expectations, that's great too because you gain valuable knowledge and experience.  

 

If you're going through a difficult stretch, keep going and you'll get yourself beyond it. If you're getting unsatisfactory results, keep making the effort, keep getting results and as you grow more effective with each attempt, you'll eventually get it just right.  

 

With each action you take, you make a difference. The more experience you have at making a difference, the more skillful you become at making that difference exactly what you want it to be.  

 

Look back at how far you've come since you started. See and understand how even the disappointing results have helped you to find your way forward.  

 

With every effort, regardless of the outcome, you've made a step in the direction of the results you seek. Always expect the best, no matter what has happened before, for your results will move steadily toward your expectations.  

 

Keep going, keep making the effort, keep making a difference and keep getting results. Each day, each action brings you ever closer to the goal.

 

Ralph Marston - The Daily Motivator
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Summer Is Back...

Summer is back to sing for us it's swan song. It will return in about 10months hopefully with the same intensity that it shared with us this time around.
Now that my favorite time of year is approaching my spirits are up things are on a very positive note and I want more than ever "change". Not that I needed the weather to change but I have started to look for the positive no matter what the situation. It has helped me learn to have an attitude of resolution instead of dread and panic. So enter fall an help me rise...so. Summer is back and I am learning how to keep it with me every day...
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Good Things Ahead..

Wow! I am driving around Hopkinton, Ma. and what do I see!?! Leaves falling and trees already changing colors then the smell of hot apple cider and warm pumpkin scones...mmmmmm!!! I love the fall...
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A Better View...

Yes.... in the dark where things seem scary and feel like a tsunami....and the only way to get it over with is to go right through it. These are the moments that develop one of two things fear or courage, hopefully the winner will be courage. The opportunity to see yourself in a more competent light to see a better version of you. So now that the storm has passed and I am still standing speaks volumes to me about further encounters and that is I can....and that gives me the courage to move on and get back on track.... Seeing my new life and actually living it..
Thank you all for the support....the sun will shine it can't help but SHINE!!
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There's More?

So....again the dark passenger is at my side. In the mid eighties I heard a song "Mr. Blue" the chorus was "I'm mr blue and I'm here to stay with you and no matter what you do when you are lonely I'll be lonely too". Through out the song it gives you examples of situations that individuals find themselves in that have caused pain and sadness. This simple song exposed to me "the dark passenger" the mass of negative energy that lingers and waits at every turn to make any circumstance or situation into something greater than it really is by lying to me. And making everything a crisis. The simple fact is that there is a path that if you follow you may keep the dark passenger at bay but I often veer off the path and play outside the lines with the excuse that one must live a little. Later I feel the "bite" and it's not pleasant and unlike Pavlovs conditioned response exercise I keep going back knowing the outcome expecting that a different one will show up and then I label it "faith", expect the unexpected.

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Is That All There Is?

That's it!...things have to change!! Ugh! Enough!! Need to move on. I can no longer go on like this. That was the main thought process for me this whole week. Here I am watching helpless no way out full of disillusion and pain. I can't see a way out, maybe I refuse to. Most of the time I believe I like this state of being always feeling hounded and that nothing good will ever happen as circumstances keep me imprisoned. I fear that I will never be free. At this point I ask what's the point? Why bother. Really? To go out on top, on top of what? All I ever really wanted was a good and decent life with a bit of joy and not feeling as though all is constantly falling apart and feeling abandoned by a God that picks and chooses who gets it and who doesn't. So no matter what I hope for and what I desire I only get 2% of that. As for giving 100%, I gave all I had and none of it was returned in case your asking what I gave away so freely was trust and hope always looking up with trust and now the trust bank is overdrawn. Don't even know if I want to any more. Maybe I don't really want all those things I once thought I wanted maybe all I want is a quiet place to live where I can eat from any fruit in the garden take a nap, swim in crystal waters and create beautiful things, make my own house, furniture and clothing and live on a lush island..
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Is It Worth It...?

It's the only question I have at this point in my life. From July 15th which was my 47th anniversary of me entering this realm. I made a promise to myself and that was to as "is it worth it?" To let that be the only question before I take another step in any direction. That doing so I would consider the present and future consequences...what does it mean today and what will it mean tomorrow down the line. Can I live with the final decision?.....can you?
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The Sign....Have I Missed It?....

    The past few days have been challenging to say the least. I have been reading at my leisure the book that a few have recommended that I tried but gave up on. It's an ok read.
   The true reason why I chose to write today is that this past week for the first time in a long time found myself wishing for another job.  It's as if my mind, body and soul are working in unison and are leading me to this place where I have to make a decision. I am at a very important intersection and I don't know which way to go.
   I seem to be waiting for a sign.....or have I missed it already?...