Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Overnight Revelation..

I took a nap earlier today and this is the time and I can't get back to sleep. So what do I do? I blog about it. To think that about eight months ago I would have been working cleaning a "gondola" at the place I used to work. I would also be dreaming of having my freedom. At the beginning I did not mind and it took some getting used to but there was a reason. The reason became lost after a year working there then it was just for the money and to tell the truth nothing really got solved but I did meet some nice people and I guess they in there own ways helped me see myself in a better light I understood more of how I had given up on so many things that were and still are of value to me in my life. I had given too much up and what was left was depression and emptiness I forgot how much I enjoyed living and spending time with the people I love. The general sense of all being good and that good things would come my way....but as long as my "two" worlds were colliding I would always be in pain and nothing good would come my way. I did what I needed to do and that was make a choice and start to allow the valuable things back into my life and return to that place where I made the choices and to not simply accept the next best thing when it is really NOT.
I would like to thank the overnight crew for being there when I needed them and for allowing me the opportunity to see me and what was going on with me. The experience was of much more value than any of you will ever know. Hang in there until you find your way but once you do promise yourself that you will take it...
Good night.
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Time Does Have A Price....

It's a beautiful morning and I have been in a dark place. I find myself wanting so much and not able to do anything "immobile" so to speak. Things are moving along but maybe I want things to happen at a faster pace, they don't. That is just a fact that I must recognise and not let that get the best of me because I have been taking charge of more and more of my life. The taking back of ones life begs the question when did it leave or when did you loose it? As I sit here I almost see how I got here and it simply was because I let it happen. I had a trajectory also know as a "plan" and the one thing I did not do was stay on it all of that would have been ok but I ended up somewhere I did not want to be so now knowing this what to do? I should just ask myself what "I want to do?" That question is so loaded because so many things come to mind but if you have been following this blog you know that I have chosen and I am on my way but here I sit. I am not questioning nor am I stalling which is what I used to think before, before the revelation that what I do is based on inspiration and it's something I can't force, it comes when it comes and I just need to take advantage of it and I do that by having a sketch book at hand and scribble and jot down the ideas when they come it's that simple so now I will not be prone to or open myself up to the darkness that so often takes me and drags me away and it takes me 3 to 4 days wasted on feeding the depressing thoughts that render me immobile and constantly wasting precious time that can be used to become more productive. So what have I learned? Is that time is not free it cost you something in the short or long run it will bear fruit whether you use it or not so even when you are relaxing you can still be productive in fact even just sitting and looking at the sun rise I am flooded with thoughts so what do I do now? I write them down and share them with the few readers that I have..... So find it and do it and don't let time pass you by..
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hope...Is It Real?

As I drive around some of the most beautiful neighbourhoods in Massachusetts and in doing so I have seen nature at it's best and of course at it's worst. What does this have to do with hope, plenty nature is one of the most obvious displays of hope. Simply because in the dead of winter when looking at the trees in all there nakedness is you wonder if the leaves will return but time has taught us that they do every single year. The lesson here for me is that no situation is permanent that anything and everything is renewed even if you loose a limb (God forbid). You can become bitter or you can turn it into something positive, many examples all around us. Take time and think about how you psyche yourself out which should demonstrate to you how powerful you thoughts are that they can convince you of things that are not true and can even lead you to a future that you did not have in mind. Hope is trusting that you will and can be in a better place by making the choices that will help you get to where you want to be.
Hope is knowing that everything in your life can change but it does not have to be for the worst it can be for the better it just takes a second to realize it, so take the time and realize it visualise it and head in that direction with all your heart....and trust and hope...
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